I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
