im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
