I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
