'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
