My nipple is on Facebook.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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