Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
