mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize