So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Found your dick twin last night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize