like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
