yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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