his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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