well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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