He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
