put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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