Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
