Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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