nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
