Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
