I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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