We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
