Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
