dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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