how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
