i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
