Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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