that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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