Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
