I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
