Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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