I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
