Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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