Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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