I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
