he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
