It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize