you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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