He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
