That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
