Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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