I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
