Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It was confusing and full of hummus
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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