If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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