Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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