like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We have so much sex to catch up on
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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