Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
