I need help removing her.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
