did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
