I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
