Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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