bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
