Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
