Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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