i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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