lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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