Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just pee around me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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