I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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