As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
we're so committed to being not committed
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
